AdventuresWithMeg

Once you open a box, you can’t take back any actions, it’s done, and you have to dig into whatever is in the box. I opened a box of knots (metaphorical), and ive been working at unravelling them, I got some, but I haven’t got all of them, and the biggest of the knots is challenging. It doesn’t seem like it would help, but I have been listening to Taylor Swift’s newest album, speak now (Taylor’s version), and it’s helping to soothe what’s coming from hiding; music is quite relaxing. 

I had a therapy session earlier, and it was really good but ive been feeling super vulnerable since and prone to wanting to cry for no reason im currently able to figure it out. I had it while around Mint and Wee Boy, but now that im alone and finished my therapy journal, im left with that feeling and im not sure if I will post this, but it’s helping to get the feeling loose and not as intense. I can’t place the emotion im feeling, but it’s one of neither sadness, happiness, loss or anger; it’s just a blob of nameless emotion thats sitting in my stomach and making its presence known. That being said, it’s not a bad thing just there, i sat outside reading for a bit, and it soothed some part of me, and i think it may just be the surprise of finding what i did in the box; it wasn’t a surprise on a gut level i had a feeling it was there, but my head didn’t want to address it. 

I think I made the right choice with the therapy, I find it hard to open up to people, especially to let someone see that far into my soul, but it will be good. I have my social supports, which I have already reached out to and my ways to help with everything else, and it’s making a difference. I hope to keep going and using it throughout the rest of my life. Im not sure where life is taking me; im almost thirty with no real idea of what id like to do but an idea of what I dont want to do. Part of me wants to pick up and move to a remote part of the world, but I won’t; I wouldn’t mind living in a place where I can be a weird hermit who makes art, and people think is odd ( a ruth, if you will). 

Im looking to make a change, but im still undecided as to where to go, so im going to keep my eyes and ears wide open to get all my options and see what id like (even if I dont think it will fit before I try it). Ive looked into being a yoga teacher recently, and everything but the teaching sounds good to me; the teaching part scares me a wee bit, but im going to keep my mind open and look into it without dismissing it fully. A change is needed, so this year, I plan on working towards that, I dont know how far I will get, but I will have a change by the end of the year. 

Thats all I have for this post; im not sure how to end this, but I hope you’re having a cozy day! 

Till Next Time, 

Meg 

Main image by Megeriblogs