I don’t honestly know if people will be interested in this but I really wanted to write this blog post. Since making this blog I have noticed a difference in my writing and the writing process is getting to be a bit easier for me. I know lots of words and have grand ideas in my head for what I’m writing and what I think it could be, its been a work in progress for .. well since I got to college in 2012/2013 and it improved quite a bit but with being out of school and not really having anything to write about I slacked off and stopped working on my writing. I decided in August 2019 that I would make this blog, and start working on my writing, the process and learn to open up and talk about things id like to know about and more. It’s a slow climb but it’s going to get easier and be rewarding.

I have issues getting words out in the correct order and honestly just getting them to be coherent. I can type messages out and think I got everything out and send it, get back a “can you tell what you meant by that?” and reread it, it says every other word that I intended to say and my brain filled in the words that were missing. I am now cautious of my writing and try to not type anything too fast so I can be sure of what I’m sending out to this blog or in a text. I also happen to think far too fast for how fast I can type words out. So I feel like I’m rushing to say things or typing so I can get it all out before I’m on to a new thought.

My thought process is similar to multiple trains on the same track all trying to get attention at the same time, flying by and pulling one conductor every which way. It is chaos, to say the least so when I write I have to be in a focused calm mood with very little to distract me. Usually, I write when I finish my Saturday cleaning, and during my Sunday morning wake up (right now as I’m typing this), I am for some reason more focused during these times I’m not sure why but I will take it!

My writing style is strange (self-admitted), I write in spurts until I can’t think of anything to put down. I can type for hours at times and not realize or i can type for 5 minutes and be done. It can be a great and wonderful thing but also not. I take a lot longer to wrte these then id like because of my thought process and where I need to be mentally and/or emotionally. It isnt perfect but its part of me and I accept it.

Ive found that I can get more words out listening to a fireplace noise, Belles Library,  Once Upon a December or a movie/show I’ve seen before. They help to keep me focused and able to get what I can from my head so I will be calm collected and hopefully make sense to whoever is reading it. I do better listening to people talk as well, I’ve learned this in the past year at my current workplace.

I have three work friends that will stop by the counter when im finishing up my shift and im sometimes counting cash or going through little things and I am able to listen to them tell me stories while i count money, triple check numbers and orders for the end of the day. I think it is because its a backtrack and something for the part of me that gets distracted to focus on and makes its easier to focus on whatever im doing somehow, it doesn’t make sense to me but it works.

As a side note Im rewriting and editing this with Love is blind playing in the background and it is quite the drama right now and making editing a bit easier for me then say fireplace noises or belles library. I may miss some things still regardless but it’s making the process go much faster with the stories happening.