Bruh, This is Some Scary Shit.

**Preface: I just wrote this as it came out so I hope this makes sense, I know everyone has been going through some things since the pandemic started and this kinda goes through a bit of my journey since then. This is mostly to get things out of my head so I don’t think about it as much. Anywho, on to the post **

I’ve been watching the news the last few weeks and this new variant is making me feel a new level of anxiety. I have had anxiety since I could remember so going through this pandemic, it’s been a crazy and frustrating time for everyone and it’s something we are all struggling with. 

Feb 14 2020 was my last day working in an office building (i miss it, the people and the company) I was told we would spend two weeks away then we will be back in and serving the folks in the building. That never happened, being home instead of leaving for work I would craft, and I started writing more for the blog (very good idea)! 

Shortly after I got the news of being home for maybe two weeks, my landlord decided to sell his house. It was picked up very quickly and sold within a week or so of being up. I ended up staying with a few friends before ending up where I am now. It’s been an interesting time since this started and in a way im thankful for what I have gotten to experience, and me being a natural hermit seems to have helped me to be used to staying home and keeping to my own. 

This last wave and news have taken my anxiety to another level I can’t find words to describe, the jobs I’ve had over the years all were customer service which has its own ups and downs but generally was ok. Working in a customer-facing job during a pandemic has been quite different, I feel like it’s a completely different experience altogether. With some customers telling you it’s a hoax, that the government is making up false information and others who wear a mask, sanitize and follow protocols in place. 

More things are opening up around here, while it’s been nice I dont do much besides go to work, stay home and if I need to I will run to the store while im out cause its easier to do so at the time or order something online if I really need it and can’t find it in person (my body/skin is picky about what it likes, I wish it wasn’t but what can you do). I keep to smaller groups, try to watch how I interact with people and if im feeling sick or there are any signs of sickness id stick to myself (i haven’t been sick for a long while thankfully) self isolate. 

Working in a pandemic has made me realize how grateful and appreciative I am for those who are still in my life, and for the experience’s I’ve been able to have (the good and some of the bad)  and also made me realize how much I would enjoy living in a cottage by the water and only see people if I needed to get food or other supplies. When I sit on my own my anxiety somewhat is at bay and im able to get whatever is triggering it to go away, if im around others or in public it’s much harder for me to focus and function if im have a higher level of it. 

I started this worried cause im seeing the higher numbers again, murmurs of another shut down and thinking back to last year around the end of December when the store I work at decided to close for 3 months and im not sure what’s around the corner with potential changes and scenarios.  I dont know what is going to happen in the future, I dont think I’d want to know if it was a possibility but ill do what I can with what I have now and deal with the future as it comes. 

I hope your days going well and I will see you next post.

Till Next Time,

Main Image by Mylene2401 from Pixabay


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