This past week I’ve been self-isolating, and while I’ve been self-isolating, it’s been interesting. I normally dont mind staying home but felt a need to be social, yet I was so tired that I didn’t want to. I spent days listening/half-watching Rizzoli & Isles/Midsomer Murders and a handful of other documentaries/movies while crocheting, embroidery, drawing, and reading quite a bit. I’ve been thinking about erasing and restarting my island in animal crossing, and as im finally feeling no symptoms, today is the day to get it done as it’s valentines day; soon, they will have something on the island to celebrate it. 

I do think the way to go forward is to stay home if sick or feeling any unwelcome symptoms; it gives you time to recuperate. In most cases, you can work from home without any issues, not overwork yourself, and not spread the symptoms to anyone else. I feel like we should have been doing that for a long time ago, and it would have been so helpful and saved a lot of people (including myself) from stretching too thin and making the recovery longer than it could be.  

Ive finished several projects while home; some are going for specific people, and some are to sell eventually. I have a bag here with items priced as I feel most reasonable, and I have a plan for some things, but I need to find frames or something to put the materials in. I also seent his idea online where you paint a scene on the glass and put a picture behind it or just keep it as is, and thats quite lovely! Im thinking a shadow box would be good for that, or an average frame would work too. 

Since being home and having all this free time on my hands, I realized that im feeling less like im lost and more at ease, which I enjoy. Now im still trying to find the right balance of creativity and everything else; as im introverted, people exhaust me. Even if it’s a short shift, regardless of how much people I talk with, I tend to feel tired, and I need to recharge before talking or dealing with people in my life. So this week of sitting by myself and crafting has shown me that I very much could see a future where I sit and make scarves/bags/cloths, embroider pieces, paint or something, now that may not seem like the most financially stable thing currently but id like to start slowly or keep it on the side as something I do for fun and can keep some benefits from it I’ll figure that out as I go along.

This post is a mix-match of thoughts ive been having all week. I know I haven’t been as consistent in posting lately, and I feel part of that is ive been feeling sick and just not up to writing a whole lot but also processing the anxiety of being sick with symptoms of covid or a cold and thinking, “oh Jesus, did I get it from work?” “did I pass it on to someone who I came into contact with?” and worrying that I may have passed it on to people I live with, among other concerns. Crafting helps me to process these thoughts as words are not always the easiest way for me to communicate, and it can be a good thing, but for people who dont know me or dont understand why I do this, it can be very frustrating. I frustrate myself because im trying to communicate but not being able to pull the words together I need at the time, and by the time I have the words, it can be too late or just irritate the person cause they may have forgotten the conversation or situation. Part of the reason I do this is I try to have a general script of whatever conversation im going into (unless it’s family or friends) because I dont react as fast as some others. I dont want to be rude by coming out with an unfinished impulsive thought that I can’t explain or insult the person in question. Also, I dont talk to many people I dont know because it’s hard for me to start a conversation (unless it’s at work), and then I just feel like im prying where I dont belong by asking personal questions. I’d love just to take my brain out every once in a while and let it air out the cobwebs, cluttered thoughts and just sit without thinking what feels like 40-70 thoughts at one time, its exhausting and messes with my sleep. Ive tried many things before bedtime, no screens, sprays, meditating, sounds (by the seasides, forest sounds, and finally fireplace noises), but only fireplace noises help, but nothing else helps, really. Melatonin is like sugar pills to me, completely useless, and I know that people with ADHD tend to have some kind of sleep disorder, among other things in that mix, so that gives me some context, at least. 

The post started as a general ramble on my end here, and im not sure how it got to where it did, but I feel as if the stones on my shoulders and chest have gone, and it’s much easier to breathe and think. I feel that I should cut it down, but then it won’t feel like me, so it may be a long read, but I hope you enjoyed this and you and yours are doing ok!

Till Next Time, 

Meg

Main Image by Pexels from Pixabay 

Playlist: Cozy Acoustic – Deezer